Tonight my daughter told me I was truly living in the sandwich generation...she on one side with her pregnancy questions, concerns and happenings and my mother on the other side with her slide into very old age. I also have a husband who has his own serious health issues. Oh and a dog who has puppy issues. I work full time about an hours drive from home. It is a job that requires I be on the phone from the minute I get there until eight hours later when I leave. So I am talking all days, approving or denying issues that people consider very important to their life and lively hood. To say this is a job with pressures is to say the least. At home I have major pressures too, and this happens everyday. I never get a break from the pressure of work because if I take a day off the pressure is here waiting for me in the form of mother.
Last night she had an episode.....it started with her saying she was dizzy, I took her blood pressure & pulse both were fine. Next it was she had to go to the bathroom, so off she went. She was back in a few minutes telling me she was dizzy, this time she was nauseous. OK back to her room get her in bed, at which time for the next 3 hours it was vomiting and dizzy. In between I am cleaning the kitchen, collecting garbage and trying to get ready for work the next day. Finally I get her settled, I think . I go to her room collect the garbage and leave as I get to the kitchen I hear a thump, I run back to her room , my husband runs down the steps , there lay mother on the floor. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom again gotten dizzy and fallen. We pick her up , get her to the bathroom then back to bed. I give her a bell to ring to call me if she wants to get up. She is very independent and wants to do things herself. I guess it is hard to loose that sense of being able to do for yourself. She never rang it. I asked her why and she said I was able to get up without help. Me I did not sleep well all night because I am was waiting for the bell to ring. My husband wears a CPAP machine to sleep at night and of course last night there was not a tight seal so it squealed off and on all night, that also contributed to my not sleeping well. So today I get up call and cancel all her appointments, make one for the Dr., call in late to work. Get husband to help get her in the car and off to the Dr. we go. It is 10:00 in the morning and 80 degrees a with comparable humidity. I am sweating rivulets of water down my face. I push her in the wheelchair into the Dr waiting area, there we sit for 30 minutes then 30 more minutes in the treatment room. Finally we are free to go home and she wants lunch. It is now 11:45 am and I have to go to Burger King to get her a sandwich. Now we can head home and I can make the 1 hr drive to work. Yes the frenzy is waiting for me since I am now 5 hours late. OK so I do what I can then head home get here in time to cook dinner for her and a light salad supper for me and husband. No the night is not over, she is better wants dessert , watermelon, then she sneaks a piece of chocolate candy, asked me for Cashews ( this is her usual feeling good routine) so I know she is not nauseous any more. I go to my room to rest, she calls me on her cell phone to tell me I need to call her companion to come to take care of her tomorrow because she has diarrhea is weak and needs help. She has no idea how she will feel in the morning but knows she will need help. She fusses at me because I tell her she has diarrhea because of all the above junk food, says she does not have diarrhea daily and something is wrong. I offer to call a GI doctor for her, she is still mad at me . I come in here to write a note to my sister but remember she is mad at me because she says am never there for her. When do I have time ? I am never there for me either. So I write this blog to vent..........
Last night she had an episode.....it started with her saying she was dizzy, I took her blood pressure & pulse both were fine. Next it was she had to go to the bathroom, so off she went. She was back in a few minutes telling me she was dizzy, this time she was nauseous. OK back to her room get her in bed, at which time for the next 3 hours it was vomiting and dizzy. In between I am cleaning the kitchen, collecting garbage and trying to get ready for work the next day. Finally I get her settled, I think . I go to her room collect the garbage and leave as I get to the kitchen I hear a thump, I run back to her room , my husband runs down the steps , there lay mother on the floor. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom again gotten dizzy and fallen. We pick her up , get her to the bathroom then back to bed. I give her a bell to ring to call me if she wants to get up. She is very independent and wants to do things herself. I guess it is hard to loose that sense of being able to do for yourself. She never rang it. I asked her why and she said I was able to get up without help. Me I did not sleep well all night because I am was waiting for the bell to ring. My husband wears a CPAP machine to sleep at night and of course last night there was not a tight seal so it squealed off and on all night, that also contributed to my not sleeping well. So today I get up call and cancel all her appointments, make one for the Dr., call in late to work. Get husband to help get her in the car and off to the Dr. we go. It is 10:00 in the morning and 80 degrees a with comparable humidity. I am sweating rivulets of water down my face. I push her in the wheelchair into the Dr waiting area, there we sit for 30 minutes then 30 more minutes in the treatment room. Finally we are free to go home and she wants lunch. It is now 11:45 am and I have to go to Burger King to get her a sandwich. Now we can head home and I can make the 1 hr drive to work. Yes the frenzy is waiting for me since I am now 5 hours late. OK so I do what I can then head home get here in time to cook dinner for her and a light salad supper for me and husband. No the night is not over, she is better wants dessert , watermelon, then she sneaks a piece of chocolate candy, asked me for Cashews ( this is her usual feeling good routine) so I know she is not nauseous any more. I go to my room to rest, she calls me on her cell phone to tell me I need to call her companion to come to take care of her tomorrow because she has diarrhea is weak and needs help. She has no idea how she will feel in the morning but knows she will need help. She fusses at me because I tell her she has diarrhea because of all the above junk food, says she does not have diarrhea daily and something is wrong. I offer to call a GI doctor for her, she is still mad at me . I come in here to write a note to my sister but remember she is mad at me because she says am never there for her. When do I have time ? I am never there for me either. So I write this blog to vent..........
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